It's ok to be sad.

Where the hell should I start? Allt gick åt helvete. I am so depressed, it's not even funny anymore. Like phycological exhaustion wasn't enough, I managed to spill whole kettle of boiling water on my legs. Burn! Literally. Of course it happened the first day when Fred went to Estonia. All alone sobbing - not a pretty sight. I couldn't walk few days, yet I had to go to work after that. True Estonian as I am, I never take sick leave. Even if I am dead and in a coffin, I still want to attend the morning meeting. 

Talking about sick leave, I am not really sure if I can even take one? Oh, it's so difficult to explain, but hang in there. Theoretically EU citizens can relocate to any member states and start working straight away. Like in the UK I had to go to a silly interview to get my social insurance number. Super easy, since it is logical that the country wishes you to work and pay taxes straight away. Yet here in Sweden the system fucks you sideways. I wasn't given any number and was asked to show my emplyment contract before to get the number. Yet employers were really suspicious about hiring me without any social security number. I was so caught between two fires. I have the theoretical right, although practically... Fred got so angry that he even wrote to EU help-service and they replied that Sweden is the biggest discriminator against other EU citizens and they are well aware of the problem. Oh, well good to know, that I am not the only one fucked.

I was told one thing at Skatteverket (Tax agency) and contrasting things at different employers. I almost packed my things and went back to Estonia, yet Fred has a beautiful face and a warm hug. So I stayed and luckily found a nice person, who knew how to fuck the system and hired me. At least I got a job, although I won't get paid until Skatteverket gives me tax number. It may take 6 week, it may take forever. And it's not even the number that gives you benefits. It's just a number to pay taxes and I still won't get a health care I guess. ??? WHY YOU NO WANT TAXPAYERS?

Thank god that Fred's coming back tomorrow! Btw he won the best boyfriend award sixth year in a row (others are not even trying). At least the relationship is at it's finest and master degree possibilities are looked up. Dream big or go home. 

One day I will not limp anymore, one day I'll get paid and one day I'll get my social security back. Last but not least, I'm in the second round of getting my dream job. 99% possibility I won't get it, yet there's always this 1%...maybe I'll get lucky?

EVERYTHING IS TWICE AS HARD IN SWEDISH. Probably my colleges think I am retarded or something. And job interviews are amazing.

Here is a horse, because I haven't taken any pictures, because too depressed to do so:

See pole kolm peotäit mulda,

see pole siinne lõplik.

Need on katsumused, millest igaüks on õppind.

Liljevalch

We are alive and taking advantage everything cheap or free of charge. Like "no admission" museum days. Liljevalch Utopian Bodies was so awesome, that even Fred enjoyed it. Fiishon and culture!

(By the way Fred is coming to Estonia next week, 

the goal is to save Mrs.To-yo-yo from the winter and bring me Gustav pastry. Hit him up.)

"Is my boob bigger than the other?"

"GAYYYYYY!"

Remember that I love Chloé since I was 14?

Still do:

It reminds me - I really need to go to the dentist:

Beyoncé would buy this:

Fred needs new winter clothes:

I'm a midget:

Bad hair day in the background:

"Mom, I want to be bigger than life."

Ida Sjöstedt - making tits seem bigger since 2001:

Look at those Crocs, artwork:

Embrace yourselves, the winter is coming:

The sun and blue skies are giving my body wrong signals and D-vitamin overdose.

I am used to being depressed and sick in October:

Only in Sweden I am able to take a boat without deadly thoughts:

Sad picture for the colour blind:

Bitches love leaves:

Liljevalch:

Few moments of joy before depression

Little update from Stockholm.

I'm now totally settled in, which means I have watched a whole season of Paradise Hotel (Swedish Jersey Shore) and have survived cinnamon roll overdose. My vocabulary of Swedish curse words and slang has increased enormously. 

Having so much free time sucks hard yet in the same time is such a bliss - my bachelor thesis is half done and Õnne 13 wikipedia is slowly growing (it just takes me about 30 years to finish).

The job interviews I have had are in the same way contrasting. I have not received any of the positions I have applied for, yet received such good feedback and still offered a job. I'm shitty yet nice?

Luckily I don't have to bitch about the weather, although it's freezing the sun has been out every day. Rain, who?

The autumn glory.

Few moments of joy before depression:

To keep the mind sharp play Game of Thrones board game.

The Queen has some conquering to do:

Still enjoying my driving licence,

in the same time Fred is enjoying his vodka shots:

Old deskmates enjoy their Friday night Mojitos:

Life is harder, but love keeps me going.

Höstfärger. Autumn in Stockholm

HAPPY NEW SEASON!

It's time to bitch about the weather again.

Fred's uni was giving out free bang-bangs:

Stop, we didn't even take our vinyl players with:

Enjoy the colours before it turns into black and white drama:

SHROOMS!

The coolest friends are those who work on a Tallink ferry:

The longboard adds ten times more coolness:

They rollin', they lovin':

The wall is blushing:

Under the Bridge - RHCP:

Btw, Stockholm is paradise of Second Hand:

Eternal third wheel

Last week from Monday until Sunday it was never-ending fun day, 

because Mr.O came to visit.

Three weeks apart is no joke, we missed our eternal third wheel:

"Fuck work, fuck warm countries, I'll spend my vacation in Sweden":

Very happy boys at a bar:

COS had a Men Autumn season launch,

of course we went there and drooled all over the place:

Free drinks and food might have had a huge reason why we went there:

The more the merrier.

On Thursday evA joined the Estonian band wagon in Stockholm, yo:

Not so primitive culture trip to Moderna Museet.

It was nuts!:

For Ott eleven cups a day

keep doctor away:

Embrace yourselves, the autumn is coming:

Beautiful smiles

(however it was so windy and chilly that they were shivering like broken vibrators):

Blocking the stairs at metro is all that we do.

Stand on the right?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!

Life is so much happier in a pixelated world:

"Friday, Friday.

Gotta get down on Friday":

Show with your fingers how many drinks you have had

(I'm so confused 1-4-20?!):

Cucumber drink makes you cuck-oo: 

Am I drunk or is this Lord of the Rings movie?

Tžanel A/W 2015:

Michael Gorš A/W 2015:

Self-portrait after 1AM:

Teaching "Ossi Kükk for Dummies"...:

...a.k.a. "Squat A-B-C":

Then we waited 1h in the queue. Learned some Spanish. Laughed at each others silly ID pictures.

 Talked with strangers. Aaaaaand got in to see balloons and hairy DJ:

Next day was tough and quiet, 

since being drunk means borrowing happiness from the next day :

Waiting for evA to give out kanelbullar.

The ultimate hangover cure:

Is it just me or does the longboard make him even more sexy?:

Dark nights:

Too cool

for school:

Mad man:

Fun week over, dull one ahead: